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Banter

Two steampunk heroes discuss fashion. Templeton Sledmeir is an inventor and airship captain from Prussia, while Elson Dowring is a former Skyrine (like marines, but for airships) who fought on the union side of the American Civil War. Their meeting and adventures are the stuff of many a dime-novel legend, but what's important is that Elson is ... less technically inclined than his friend Templeton.

Templeton: "So what does your pistol do?"

Elson: "... it shoots bullets."

T: "Is that all?"

E: "Makes a great paperweight."

T: "Huh. Do your bullets do anything special?"

E: "I hear they hurt."

T: "What about your knife?"

E: "It's sharp."

T: "Your sword?"

E: "Long and sharp."

T: "Your hatchet?"

E: "Heavy and sharp."

T: "Boots?"

E: "Just heavy."

T: "Goggles?"

E: "Keep my face pretty."

T: "Belt?"

E: "Keeps my pants up."

T: "... and the other belts?"

E: "Next ..."

T: "Jacket?"

E: "Warm."

T: "Buttons on the jacket?"

E: "These days? Superfluous."

T: "Pocket watch?"

E: "Tells time."

T: "Gloves?"

E: "For punching."

T: "Kerchief?"

E: "Catches snot."

T: "Hat?"

E: "Stylish."

T: "... You confuse me."

E: "Well ... my pocket watch both tells time AND keeps a picture of my mother."

T: "AHA! Would you like it to also serve as a compass, barometer, and altimeter, as well as play music, hide a lockpick, and heat your drink?"

E: "... no thanks, I ..."

T: "TOO LATE!"

E: "... you frighten me."

T: "Your sword also squirts oil out of the pommel."

Author's Note: This also counts as our first bit of advertizing, as I posted it onto the Steampunk Fashion LJ Community.